Bullying Used to be a Part of Growing Up

So did many other things.

Bullying...it was a right of passage, a part of being a kid...

It was accepted.

Now, suddenly it's not... 

This is a poster currently displayed on the cafeteria wall at one of my child's schools. It's interesting to me how over the generations, things which were once so acceptable, are now considered incredibly harmful.

I am in no way disagreeing with the fact that bullying is damaging to children...(and adults). But what I'm saying is, how quick we are (and comfortable with) going along with things which go on...like our parents did with the teasing and bullying.

I've heard numerous stories around many of our Thanksgiving and Christmas tables from my father, aunts and uncle, who remember being tormented and sometimes tortured by their siblings...never mind the kids at school, well, because that came later.

There are a lot of things I think ought to be a concern in our society, that I truly believe some day someone (including professionals, educators and political figures) will realize are harmful and might finally decide to stand up and fight against. But, for now, accept publicly because, well, everyone's doing it...

Unless we see negative results (or admit to seeing them) acceptable behaviors will continue to be tolerated and/or supported...no matter what harm is being done in the process.

It's only until the damage is done does society, as a whole, take a stand...and ask for change, limitation and prevention. (Think tobacco use Then Vs. Now...it used to be cool...now it kills people and we ban it from public places, etc., etc., etc.)

In the past, bullying made you tougher, now it's what makes you weaker.

How do we really know what we accept is truly o.k....until we see the results at the end?

Parenting is like that.
We do our best, support our ideals and beliefs. Then, later, if something was a mistake, we say hind-sight was 20/20.

I am not the perfect parent, no one is, 
and I'm in the same boat as many others.

So, the only tips I have on this topic are these:

If it didn't work for your parents, don't do it with your kids
If it doesn't seem to be working, STOP dong it
Don't be afraid to change your thoughts and rules if it supports a better life for your child

Probably doesn't seem like  much to work with, but it's what I've got.

Parenting sometimes is just trial and error.... 
Share what you know, hear what other parents have to say...
Because we're all in this together.

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