How well does your teen listen to you?
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| worried man on the phone by artur84 @freedititalphotos.net |
Do you often wonder if they can even hear you talking?
Most parents can answer these two questions easily. Frustrating right?
There are a few simple things to do if this is happening to you:
1. Talk less (they tune out after just a few words because they already know what they did wrong - they only need to hear the one or two things that are MOST important. This goes for instructions too- just say what they need to hear…and believe me, they don't need to hear EVERYTHING that's on your mind (they already know-hence they're reply during your rant, "I KNOW MOM!! I KNOW!")
2. Whisper (or at least try, because it will lower your voice). No one can successfully tune in to yelling or loud booming instructions.
3. Don't be repetitive. I'm guilty of this too. I tend to remind them of something more than once, saying the same thing over and over. When I'm mad I usually repeat my phrase or disappointment because I'm worked up. We should be able to calmly tell them what irritates us about their behavior, leaving emotions out, which is difficult I know, especially for moms. To help with this, walk away, tell them you'll deal with them in a few minutes and remember to take a deep breath and focus on #1 and #2 on this list.
That's It!
Those are the three quickest ways to reach your child if you are currently having
difficulties getting them to listen to you.
Okay, so maybe there are a few other tips-
I did say 6 didn't I? Okay, ready for them?
1. Follow the same rules you are enforcing-otherwise, you are destined to fail at getting them to listen
2. Apologize for previous outbursts or mistakes prior to opening a new conversation later-they respect you more when you admit you were wrong
3. Speak from a place of love and acceptance, not judgment or intolerance-this is tough because we don't always agree with their choices, but we need them to trust us so they will share
Being a parent of any age child is a tough job, but parenting a teen can be grueling. Remember these things when talking to your teen:
- Most teens want to act tough, but are actually very sensitive
- Most teens want to act tough, but are actually very sensitive
- All teens want acceptance, but are quick to shun others
- Almost every teen feels like they know it all, but are actually scared of how much they don't know-but won't ever admit it...
Teenagers need love, patience and understanding, balanced with appropriate discipline.
Discipline is an important part of this, because remember…. they know the system, and they know how to work it. While teenagers might be very sensitive, they are incredibly smart. (wink wink)
This all might take some practice but it will work
to help get any kid on your side.