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"Dads Card" by deb spoons via freedigitalphotos.net |
A friend, writer, and colleague of mine recently had this story published in the newspaper (yes, those black and whites still exist).
Her short story begins with her own father and his recollection of his own dad, and the not-so-terrific upbringing he had. Then she shares with us that although her father didn't have it very good growing up (his own dad wasn't the greatest role model) he still did a good job with her. Enjoy this sweet story, I did...
Blue ribbons are earned. No one casually hands out first prizes and no
one gives out honorable dads. I am proud to say that I am the daughter of a
Blue Ribbon Dad.
Like many young men today, my dad did
not have a positive role model when it came to fathers. His parents divorced
because his dad refused to work. Dad’s childhood was one of disappointments
while living with his father. At the age of seven, he started delivering
newspapers and was expected to contribute his earnings to the household. It is
hard to imagine that one Christmas he eagerly anticipated a promised bicycle,
but instead he was cruelly handed a picture post card of a bike.
I knew that my dad’s childhood was
harsh. I recently asked, “How did you
learn to be such a great dad? “ He tentatively answered that summers on Uncle
Emerson’s farm had continued to teach him the value of hard work and there was
still time for fishing and playing baseball.
He was too modest to say, “I just figured it out.”
After honorably serving in the Navy
during World War II, he married my mom. While attending church together, Dad
learned that God and family came first. Even when his upholstery skills were in
demand, my dad respected the commandment to honor the Sabbath. “I do not work
on Sunday,” he boldly told his customers. Years later, I had a visual picture
of this commitment while watching Orthodox Jewish families in my neighborhood
walking to service out of respect for their day of rest.
On week nights I chose to hang out with
my dad in the garage upholstery shop. He taught me how to remove soiled
furniture covers and make cloth covered buttons. He paid me for my work and he
let me keep my earnings. Coins were often discovered in the chair pockets, and
he let me keep them, too. We listened to the radio while we worked. We hoped
that the announcer would shout that our International Hockey League team scored
an out of town goal. When the Dayton Gems were in town, we had season tickets
and rang cow bells when the puck went into the net. Recently dad and I commented
on what great times we shared at Hara Arena.
My dad was first rate when it came to
being a hands on sort of dad. He patiently stopped his work and was not afraid
to let me try to sew on the speedy industrial machine. Next, with metal tacks pricking my tongue, he
taught me how to use the magnetic hammer to coax them out of my mouth and how
to use them to recover a footstool. He was a proud dad when my entries earned
blue ribbons in the Junior Division of the Ohio State Fair.
Thankfully, I reminisce with my dad
regularly while we visit at his Elyria retirement home. Last week he called and boyishly reported, “I
got the blue ribbon.” Yes, my dad can
add this one to his Leading Age Art Competition awards for his unique
upholstered doll furniture. My hard
working dad is humble about successes during what he describes as “my piano
keys birthday year.” He is eighty eight. Dad has ribbons of recognition, but he
does not need to wear one to prove that he is a Blue Ribbon Dad.
The third Sunday in June is Father’s
Day. It is a special day even for men who do not have a box of blue ribbons. My dad has made it easy for me to recall one
of the first verses I memorized as a child. Scripture in both the Old and New
Testament commands us to “Honor your father…”
Henry Hoop did not have a fatherly role
model; he became one.
This story rings true with Family Matters. While my upbringing was less than stellar (I grew up sans-mommy) I somehow figured it out, so now my own children won't have to suffer. No matter our past, parenting can become second nature if we use these as a guide:
- Know you are not your parents.
- Your past is not your future.
- If it didn't work when you were a child, don't repeat it with your own kids.
- Treat your children the way you'd like to be treated.
- Use common sense as your guide as often as possible.
- Your past is not your future.
- If it didn't work when you were a child, don't repeat it with your own kids.
- Treat your children the way you'd like to be treated.
- Use common sense as your guide as often as possible.
You got this.
A big thank you to Kevin Schaner for sharing story with us.
Kevin can be contacted via the following:
schanerkevin@gmail.com