Skip to main content

Timing Discipline Right




Is there such a thing as timing discipline right?

I believe there is.

Disciplining a child as soon as possible is best, because if you wait, the child forgets and cannot correctly equate the punishment with the bad behavior.

A few quick examples to discipline immediately:

Your child is throwing a tantrum in the store?
-Leave.

If your child throws his toys?
-Take the toy away NOW, and don't give it back until tomorrow.

If your teen talks back?
-Take away their next social event (yes, they will live- and they will also learn).

The fact of the matter is, if you're wishy-washy and inconsistent- threaten and do not follow through with punishments,  children can get confused and find loopholes they will use to their advantage. Eventually they won't trust your judgement or where you stand on rules. If you're boundaries and consequences aren't swift and clear, kids will never take you seriously.

What do we accomplish by disciplining immediately?

We teach our children lessons now
We show them we mean business and we are serious
We expect best behavoir
We are not a push over
We will not provide loopholes
We will not put up with their ill behavior
We promote better choices
We set expectations which are easy to follow and understand

Children who are disciplined learn accountability.

Why is accountability important? Because imagine if every day, adults walked around not being held responsible for things like working, following the law or using manners? Granted, I know not all adults do these things as it is, but if NO ONE did them... what would our world be like and what would your life be like? Kids do not stop needing parents once they turn eighteen; someday their problems could become yours.

Here is an example of some immediate discipline in my home:

Looking up words in the dictionary is part of growing up and learning to spell. Sometimes we need to do it during homework time.

'Hey Mom! How do you spell....?' Well, my kids know the answer and laugh every time they are handed a dictionary.

It seems when my youngest was handed a dictionary for the first time back in the fall, he was less than impressed and said, "Oh, I bet THIS will be graaannnnd...".

I'm sorry? Was that attitude right there??????

Yes, YES it was attitude. 
And let me say it WAS grand when after he finished looking up his homework word, I made him look up several others as well... He searched for words like respect, attitude and rude. He had to not only find them but read them aloud.

I do not tolerate any level of talk back. I was not permitted to give it to my parents and I will not accept it from my children. Respect is something kids need to learn and a punishment as simple as a dictionary can help, especially when done right on the spot!

After the word look-up was done, we discussed his attitude and expectations of himself. He agreed he was not the type of kid who wanted to be rude and disrespectful so the behavior wasn't ok. His punishment was complete and he went off to play. He wasn't grounded, he didn't get spanked, nor did he lose any privileges, but I'm willing to bet he will never talk back again when I hand him a dictionary for his homework.

Punishments which fit the crime teach the lesson every time.

Email me with your discipline questions at amberinspiration@gmail.com


Follow up:
My son has been  handed a dictionary several times since then as recently as last night and NO backtalk, sighs or whines. He looked up his word, got finished with his work and went off to play.

I'm interested in a drama free home. Appropriate and immediate discipline help to foster this.
Watch for the parenting book I am currently in the process of writing and will publish soon!


Popular posts from this blog

Green Punch Buggy....!!!!

Green Punch Buggy...No Punch Back! As I was writing this blog post, my son came to me showing off his Lego creation. And don't you know I got hit at least five times since on my computer screen was displaying at least five different punch buggies, of five different colors thanks to Google Images. (Bad timing I'm thinking...) How can we possibly have world peace with these silly cars in the world!? ;) Don't the owners of these cute-but-obnoxious-cars understand that driving these things around town promotes violence!? ;) Anyhow.... The original purpose of this blog was to ask parents everywhere this question: Do you find yourself saying 'PUNCH BUGGY *BLANK-COLOR*! '  to yourself, even when the kids are not in the car??? I do! Isn't it funny how those games we used to play as a child are still around? I bet our parents say the same thing.... HAPPY FRIIIIIIDAAAAYYYY! P.S. I got hit at least ten more times, since as my son stood beside

Back to School Anxiety: Bullying

Download “School Boy Being Stressed” by David Castillo Dominici via freedigitalphotos.net I recently wrote about how to help your child if they’re struggling with going back to school because they were bullied. My biggest most important tip was to listen, because I honestly could not write a ‘How-to-make-them-not-afraid’ column. Frankly I thought that was absurd. Fear is sometimes real. Anxiety is sometimes truly there, and for a good reason. Our job as parents isn’t to try to make it go away, it’s to try to find out the true source of those worrisome feelings. If you’d like to read more, click here. And if you’re child is struggling to find excitement about the new school year, don’t deny it, just accept it and move forward gently. Here’s some more on bullying: Family Matters Links: A Touching Story/Song Bullying: A thing of the past A Peace Poem By My Teenage Daughter A Deeper Insight into My Thoughts on People Who Bring Harm to Others Other Links: Stop Bul

Good Customer Service At Home

Over the years, my careers have mainly been customer service based. I started in a family business and then moved on up through the rungs from waitress, to hostess, to sales associate, manager and eventually the GM of a hotel. In all my years, my training taught me that you should always do your best to take your customer all the way to what they need, make them happy, and never leave them until they are done with you. I pride myself on my customer service abilities. Though the other day, I think I failed at customer service in my own home! I was getting ready to cut my daughter's hair and because of how long it had gotten (she's been growing it out for a year!) I felt this time it would be best  if instead of me spritzing it with water, she could wash and condition it real quick. She was fully clothed so I just suggested she run into the bathroom and wash her hair in the tub. She’s fourteen. I suppose I just assumed that she knew how to kneel over the tub and do it.