How To Love A Child/Teen

Recently, I wrote a blog about how my son gave me the best little Mother's Day gift. A cute little glass jar with all these little papers inside. On each paper was something I've done (or do) for him. It made me think about how kids equate love from their parents- often it's not the materialistic items, but the time and treatment they remember the most, and which makes the biggest impact.

I knew for sure my son would include in his jar of papers: computer time, a football, wii time, Legos and the like. While he did mention the Lego's (only because it was a very expensive birthday gift last year and he knew it and was grateful to have it) he did not mention the wii or many other material items.

Kids might want, but our job as parents is to give them what they need. I came across this list of 'How to Love' and think it's spot on… Some might be hard to do (especially if you have teenagers) but they are imperative in showing your children you care.

You might notice that pray is on this list. Well, if you are not of any particular religion, that's okay, just replace it with 'think positive'. It's easy to think negative about our kids and about ourselves. Don't do it.
Keep your eyes open about what your kids are doing, but have faith in them that they will make good choices and/or grow out of the situations they might be in currently. Regarding the 'punishing'- this to me is about not ridiculing or shaming. You should discipline, but do it in a way that teaches (make the punishment fit the crime).

One of the biggest ones on my heart in this list is Promise-without forgetting. My father was notorious for promising and quite often did not deliver. Don't make this mistake, because it devalues you in your children's eyes and often makes them wonder if they can trust you. If you can't give it to them, don't even go there and say 'maybe'. While things do come up, to the point that you cannot do something for your kids you said you would, make it as infrequent as possible. And that's done by not promising in the first place. I can count on one hand the times I have let my kids down…and I still have fingers left on that hand…

Parenting is no easy task…it takes brave, strong people to raise kids.

You are courageous and you can do it!

If you would like the faith version of this list, which shares bible passages for each, click here.

Back to School Anxiety: Bullying

Download “School Boy Being Stressed” by David Castillo Dominici via freedigitalphotos.net I recently wrote about how to help your child if they’re struggling with going back to school because they were bullied. My biggest most important tip was to listen, because I honestly could not write a ‘How-to-make-them-not-afraid’ column. Frankly I thought that was absurd. Fear is sometimes real. Anxiety is sometimes truly there, and for a good reason. Our job as parents isn’t to try to make it go away, it’s to try to find out the true source of those worrisome feelings. If you’d like to read more, click here. And if you’re child is struggling to find excitement about the new school year, don’t deny it, just accept it and move forward gently. Here’s some more on bullying: Family Matters Links: A Touching Story/Song Bullying: A thing of the past A Peace Poem By My Teenage Daughter A Deeper Insight into My Thoughts on People Who Bring Harm to Others Other Links: Stop Bul

6 Ways to Support Teens and Mental Health (Column Related)

Enjoying a trip to see family and exploring the outdoors. May was Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s over now, but it shouldn’t be. I’m not a medical professional or anything even close, but I am convinced that every person on the planet (no matter age, economic status, profession, race, or gender) is vulnerable to events that can alter their state of mind. If you’re not sure about this, just research the increase in the amount of people seeking psychological help due to the pandemic, then try getting an appointment with a therapist or counselor that doesn’t require weeks or months on a wait list. There are so many things damaging our mental health that we don’t even realize. Add underlying issues not yet detected and undiagnosed…it’s a bad situation made worse, and the need for support more urgent. Many teens are struggling with mental health issues right now and many of us don’t even know it. How could we? Not too many teens feel comfortable talking to adults about ‘their stuff’ a

Green Punch Buggy....!!!!

Green Punch Buggy...No Punch Back! As I was writing this blog post, my son came to me showing off his Lego creation. And don't you know I got hit at least five times since on my computer screen was displaying at least five different punch buggies, of five different colors thanks to Google Images. (Bad timing I'm thinking...) How can we possibly have world peace with these silly cars in the world!? ;) Don't the owners of these cute-but-obnoxious-cars understand that driving these things around town promotes violence!? ;) Anyhow.... The original purpose of this blog was to ask parents everywhere this question: Do you find yourself saying 'PUNCH BUGGY *BLANK-COLOR*! ' to yourself, even when the kids are not in the car??? I do! Isn't it funny how those games we used to play as a child are still around? I bet our parents say the same thing.... HAPPY FRIIIIIIDAAAAYYYY! P.S. I got hit at least ten more times, since as my son stood beside

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