Skip to main content

Hate Parenting Now?

“Child Crying And Lying On Grass” by imagery majestic via freedigitalphotos.net


I guess I should practice what I preach...

But over this past year, it’s been tough.  I’ve not enjoyed parenting as much as I used to.
The kids are growing up. They also have their own new set of challenges, which are hard to handle at times. They’re all older- two teens and a preteen YIKES!

Everything’s changed.

That’s right...
Now, I am a bank, taxi, grocer, doctor, laundry expert --advice only-- because I don’t do kids’ laundry anymore… well, you get it. No different than I was when they were small but they really don’t need Mommy hardly as much as they used to.

Three things I’ve never really been as a parent-

1. The parent who cannot WAIT til their kids go back to school in the fall
2. The parent who gripes about having kids in general
3. The parent who just can’t stand watching her kids grow up

I’ve always been tolerant of the tough stuff, and accepting of the maturing stages they need to go through; celebrating every moment that they become independent. I’ve never cried “Stay little!” or “Would you stop, you’re growing up too fast!”. I was always afraid that was too selfish. My heart breaks for sure, but I gave them a life so that they could grow up and live it.

Ummm, but now, it’s time for me to take my own advice, because, this past year, parenting has stunk! I can’t even tell you how bad that feels. But, it’s almost like the more I say it the more I am comfortable with it. Ugh. I wanted these three babies. So why would I now, just begin to hate this job?

All my 18 years of being a mom, I've never wished away diaper days, sleepless nights (okay maybe a few of those) or 50-Questions. It’s a part of it all, and I knew it was going to go fast.  But, at times I look around and I think, man, that’s all there is now? It’s not like it used to be when they were small.

I’ve been trying to think positive, and it helped me recall writing a column years ago, back in my home state when my kids were still really little. It was about stages (the unkindly ones) that kids go through. It was about how to love them through the tough times (the ones you want to scream at - like when they throw awesome terrible-two-tantrums). In my case it was terrible every age tantrum with my MC (middle child). I remember writing how we should savor every second (even in the bad times) and never wish them away, because it doesn’t last forever.

I attended a lot of graduation parties this summer, and as I walked around the room looking at all of the photos of the grad as a child pinned to a string the entire length of the room by little mini clothes pins, I melted (and lost my breath).  All of her childhood memories (and I’m sure her parent’s too) were strung here in moments: her at Halloween, her on the couch with her siblings, her at high school, a football game and even in the tub (I’m pretty sure I have all of the same type of photographs of my little -now big- ones).

It went by fast….

Today, no matter how old your child is, take the time- stop, shut everything off (even your busy brain, calendar mind and irritated mood) and sit down with your child and look them in the eyes, hold their hands, talk to them or play with them, because this is it. This day is the first (and last) day that they will be this age…and today, looking back will only seem like a moment.

Enjoy it. Whether it’s blown out diapers, teething, huge tantrums, fussy bedtimes, constant no’s (from you OR them), issues with eating veggies, fighting about clothes, thousands of dollars in uniforms and sports equipment or a dent in the family car’s bumper….just stop…and find the positive in their eyes.

This will all only happen once…

and it’s today.




Popular posts from this blog

Green Punch Buggy....!!!!

Green Punch Buggy...No Punch Back! As I was writing this blog post, my son came to me showing off his Lego creation. And don't you know I got hit at least five times since on my computer screen was displaying at least five different punch buggies, of five different colors thanks to Google Images. (Bad timing I'm thinking...) How can we possibly have world peace with these silly cars in the world!? ;) Don't the owners of these cute-but-obnoxious-cars understand that driving these things around town promotes violence!? ;) Anyhow.... The original purpose of this blog was to ask parents everywhere this question: Do you find yourself saying 'PUNCH BUGGY *BLANK-COLOR*! '  to yourself, even when the kids are not in the car??? I do! Isn't it funny how those games we used to play as a child are still around? I bet our parents say the same thing.... HAPPY FRIIIIIIDAAAAYYYY! P.S. I got hit at least ten more times, since as my son stood beside

Back to School Anxiety: Bullying

Download “School Boy Being Stressed” by David Castillo Dominici via freedigitalphotos.net I recently wrote about how to help your child if they’re struggling with going back to school because they were bullied. My biggest most important tip was to listen, because I honestly could not write a ‘How-to-make-them-not-afraid’ column. Frankly I thought that was absurd. Fear is sometimes real. Anxiety is sometimes truly there, and for a good reason. Our job as parents isn’t to try to make it go away, it’s to try to find out the true source of those worrisome feelings. If you’d like to read more, click here. And if you’re child is struggling to find excitement about the new school year, don’t deny it, just accept it and move forward gently. Here’s some more on bullying: Family Matters Links: A Touching Story/Song Bullying: A thing of the past A Peace Poem By My Teenage Daughter A Deeper Insight into My Thoughts on People Who Bring Harm to Others Other Links: Stop Bul

Good Customer Service At Home

Over the years, my careers have mainly been customer service based. I started in a family business and then moved on up through the rungs from waitress, to hostess, to sales associate, manager and eventually the GM of a hotel. In all my years, my training taught me that you should always do your best to take your customer all the way to what they need, make them happy, and never leave them until they are done with you. I pride myself on my customer service abilities. Though the other day, I think I failed at customer service in my own home! I was getting ready to cut my daughter's hair and because of how long it had gotten (she's been growing it out for a year!) I felt this time it would be best  if instead of me spritzing it with water, she could wash and condition it real quick. She was fully clothed so I just suggested she run into the bathroom and wash her hair in the tub. She’s fourteen. I suppose I just assumed that she knew how to kneel over the tub and do it.