The Difference Between the Dangers Then and Now
The most dangers I think that my father and grandparents feared for me were:
- being kidnapped by some creepy pedophile
- running off as a little kid
- getting lost
- falling down
- falling off my bike (that happened a lot)
- getting hit by a car on my bike
- breaking a bone (after the first one-ankle, then nose, then ...oh nevermind, I had accidents)
- being an indecent inhumane human being (you don't say hate, because you DON'T hate, you dislike)
Later, it was (after the fact):
- playing with matches (under the front porch of the house)
- going by the river (which was down the bank, and had a large ft pipe across it that my cousins and I would crawl across)
- doing poorly in school and not advancing to the next grade (ask me about third grade, I'll show you my grandmother's solution for fear...to this day I'm not too hot at math)
Later on in life if was:
- getting into an accident after learning to drive (always by another driver because "they trusted me, just not the other guy"...funny I say that to my kids all the time too)
- getting on drugs lol, probably wording that way too
- getting pregnant
- being jobless (at 13 -and thereafter- they were sure to 'help' me get employed)
- not graduating high school
- getting mixed up with the wrong guy
- marrying the wrong guy
There are probably way more worries than I have listed, however, I pretty much only realize these since they were talked about a lot...
What wasn't talked about, was how to prevent them from happening. That's the most important part of thoe conversations.
I failed at several things on those lists. I didn't get abducted though. And do you know why? I knew how not to. Not to say it could have still happened...I was taught the ver smallest of ways to avoid it...at a young age. It's kinda creepy and depressing to think about, being an eight year old and being conditioned to "not walk by strange cars parked on the side walks, don't go near ANY vans (later on the BF had a van but he waasn't creepy lol), and don't talk to strangers...and God forbid if anyone try to grab me RUN while screaming!
We want to protect our kids. But there are so many things out there that they can be harmed by, it feels like an daunting task to teach tell them (and teach them) about...that sometimes we don't.
Today's world is FULL of garbage that can destroy our children. Back then did our parents worry about us having:
- low self-esteem
- bad attitudes
- not enough likes
- poor work ethic (yes, actually they did)
- lack of empathy and compassion (some might have-I know my dad and Nanny were big on it)
- too much information about sex that we thought a relationship meant oral sex or sharing naked photos
- sharing naked photos (while we are on that topic)
Parenting over the past 24 years has been different than I imagine it was when I was young. My biggest issue was if I got money for the ice cream truck when it came to the neighborhood, a Cabbage Patch Doll for Christmas, and a white leather fringed jacket in high school. I worried more about what time I could stay out til, having phone time (or my own line if I was blessed enough) or being able to watch MTV (hopefully when no one was home).
Times are so different. And we are still unsure of the entirety of the effects this digital world is going to result in creating. So far, a lot of it is negative. Talk to parents, go back to the blog post with the FB group Parenting In A Tech World ???? and just try to be a fair parent in this day and age where all kids typically care about is social status, which begins and ends with their digital devices and how many 'friends' they have. 'Friends'. UGH That's a whole world I don't have time to get into right now.
The hardest thing about parenting now is all the places we don't have control as parents because of what we don't know, don't understand, and don't know how to do... (Who helps you in your home with your remote control, computer that is stuck or a new electronic gadget? You see what I mean.)
They have the control.
It's important for us to reverse that role... from the beginning... and merge the two worlds into one.
Come back for more common sense parenting posts for today's parents.
Check out Bark's blog, lots of dangers to look for and explained there, like this one on July 2, 2021 (Updated on August 6th for 2021). 2021 Emoji Meanings (what you think they are and what kids are using them for might not match).
If you haven't checked out Bark's Facebook page for parents I would. They have a private group. I'm in it and I'm learning a ton.
Here is Bark's blog: